Lately when I daydream or drive to a destination, the phrase “I died so much lately” frequently pops into my mind without me realizing it. It’s not about dying physically, but more about dying emotionally and mentally. It feels like I’m being tossed around in a sea of uncertainty and pressure that’s been haunting me lately.
Have you ever felt so tired that it feels like you’re out of breath, even though you’re sitting comfortably in your own home? Or when you’re lying in bed, your mind keeps spinning, filled with anxiety that won’t go away? That’s what I’ve been feeling a lot lately.
I used to have a clear plan, a very structured plan about who I was and what I wanted in my life, but now it all felt like a piece of a puzzle that had fallen apart. I tried to find the pieces, but the more I looked, the further I felt from that goal.
We are often told to “follow our passion,” but what if you don’t know what that passion is? Or worse, what if your passion doesn’t produce results? The search for purpose can be a never-ending and soul-destroying journey. For me, it was the realization that my love of writing, something I had always done for fun, was not seen as a “real” career by many people.
Disapproval from well-meaning relatives and the constant question, “But how can you make money?” is another death. It felt like the world was telling me that my dreams weren’t real, and I was grappling with the fear that I would never be able to do what I loved.
In the midst of all this, there is a search for balance. Balancing work, social life, self-care, and mental health is a huge task. Burnout is real, and it’s something I’ve experienced more times than I can count. Each episode of burnout feels like another death — a death of enthusiasm, energy, and joy.
I wonder if I’m alone in this feeling. Do my friends also feel the same burden? Do they also sometimes feel like failures in life? Maybe, as often happens, we are all trapped in a really endless confusion, to be better, to get out of this constant feeling of guilt, I think.
But, then I realized that the dying I was experiencing was part of the journey. Failure should not be seen as the end of everything, but as a valuable lesson that helps us grow. Every time we fall, we learn how to get back up. Every time we fail, we learn to be stronger and wiser.
But what they don’t tell you is that it’s okay to get lost. It’s okay to stumble, fall, and get back up, even if it feels like you’re starting all over again. Because the truth is, life is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright scary. And pretending otherwise will only perpetuate the myth of perfection that many of us strive to achieve.
So, to my fellow travelers on this journey called life, I say this: it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning in a sea of expectations and responsibilities. It’s okay to admit that you’re not okay.
Because the only way out is through. Through the pain, through the uncertainty, through the countless deaths of self that we must endure in order to emerge stronger and more resilient on the other side.
And perhaps, by accepting our weaknesses and imperfections, we can begin to rewrite the narrative of what it means to be young in today’s world. A time where it’s okay not to know everything, where it’s okay to ask for help when we need it, and where it’s okay to be our authentic, unapologetic selves.
So this is the death we have experienced and the rebirth that awaits us on the horizon. May we rise from the ashes stronger, wiser, and more alive than ever.
It’s important to offer a message of hope and solidarity, reminding readers that they’re not alone in their struggles and that there is strength in vulnerability and authenticity.
