Grief is a relentless force. It does not politely knock on the door of your life; it forces its way in, uninvited and unwelcome, and makes itself at home. Grief, in its many forms, is often associated with the loss of a loved one. But it can also stem from the loss of a dream, the end of a chapter in life, or the realization that certain paths are now closed. This kind of grief seeped into my life quietly, without a single defining moment, Instead, it came from losing youthful certainty and realizing life is complex.
Growing around grief became my mantra. It wasn’t about overcoming it or moving past it, but rather, allowing it to shape and inform my journey. It became a companion, not an adversary.
In our early twenties, We are often full of hope. We believe the world is our playground, that opportunities are endless, and that life is a linear path to success. But then reality hits. The job market isn’t as welcoming as we hoped, relationships are more complex, and our sense of identity begins to waver. The quarter-life crisis is a period marked by doubt, confusion, and a deep sense of existential questioning.
For me, It began when I realized that the carefully planned path I was on wasn’t bringing me fulfillment. I was excelling in my academics but feeling increasingly hollow inside. Friends were getting married, starting families, and buying homes, while I felt stuck in a loop of monotony and dissatisfaction.
One day, while reading about grief, I came across the concept of growing up around grief. In contrast to the traditional idea of moving on or forgetting, this idea suggests that we do not overcome grief; instead, we grow around it.
Grief becomes part of us, part of our story, and as we grow, it becomes smaller as we grow .This really touched my heart. I realized that my quarter-life crisis was not something to overcome but something to grow around. It was an integral part of my journey, shaping me in ways I could never have anticipated.
I began to take risks, stepping out of my comfort zone and exploring new interests. I traveled solo, Engaging with diverse cultures and viewpoints. Each new experience added a layer of richness to my life, helping me grow around my grief.
Throughout this journey, I learned the importance of self-compassion. It’s easy to be our own harshest critic, especially when life doesn’t go according to plan. But being kind to myself, forgiving my perceived failures, and acknowledging my efforts became crucial in my growth process.
The journey was far from linear. There were days when the grief felt all-consuming, and I questioned if I would ever find my way out. But each setback taught me something invaluable about resilience and self-compassion. I learned that it’s okay to ask for help, to lean on others, and to admit when things are tough.
In the process of growing around grief, I’ve discovered the importance of support. Friends and family have been my anchors, grounding me when the waves of sorrow threaten to pull me under. Talking about my problems, sharing stories and memories, has been a healing balm.
Now, as I navigate the continuing twists and turns of my quarter-life, I do so with a sense of hope. I have come to understand that growing around grief is not about erasing the pain, but about allowing it to coexist with moments of joy and growth. It is about recognizing that every phase of life, no matter how challenging, holds the potential for profound transformation.
In embracing this journey, I am slowly finding my way back to myself. The person in the mirror is no longer a stranger but a testament to the strength that comes from navigating through the storm. The grief may still be there, but so is the growth. And in that delicate balance, I am rediscovering the beauty of becoming.
